Creating My Own Village (Before Motherhood Begins)
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood. Not in a loud or defined way. More like a quiet feeling in the background of my life. A sense that one day, hopefully soon, I’ll step into that chapter. And instead of rushing there, I’ve found myself doing something else first: preparing the space around it.
The Idea of a Village
I’ve always been drawn to the idea of a “village.”
The kind where people show up without needing to be asked. Where care feels natural, not scheduled. Where food appears, conversations flow, and you’re held in ways you didn’t even realize you needed.
It’s how I always imagined motherhood would feel. But as an expat, I’ve had to face something honestly: That version of my village… is not here.
Living Far From It All
Living in the Netherlands has given me so much: growth, independence, perspective.
But it has also created distance. Distance from family. From lifelong friendships. From the kind of support system that’s built over decades, not years.
And when I think about becoming a mother someday, I feel that distance more than ever. Not in a negative way, just in a very real, grounding way. It’s made me realize that if I want that feeling of being supported…I need to create it here.
So I Started, Slowly
There wasn’t one big moment where it all clicked. It’s been quieter than that. Choosing to invest in relationships. Letting people in. Learning to ask for help. Creating routines and rhythms that feel supportive.
And somewhere along the way, I started building something that feels like my own version of a village.
And Then There’s Nourisher
When I started Nourisher, I thought I was solving a very practical problem.
Postpartum nutrition.
Convenient, nourishing meals.
Support through food.
But looking at it now, I think it came from a deeper place. 🥲
It came from imagining the kind of care I would want one day. The kind of support I might not automatically have around me. It came from asking:What would make this phase feel softer?
And then creating that. In a way, Nourisher has become part of the village I’m building.
A form of support, not just for others, but for my future self too.
Preparing Before the Moment Comes
There’s something really comforting about this phase.
Not being there yet but knowing it’s something I hope for.
And instead of waiting until the moment arrives, I’m choosing to prepare in small, intentional ways. Emotionally. Practically. Gently.
Because I’ve realized something: Support doesn’t have to start when the baby arrives. It can start long before.
A Different Kind of Readiness
Right now, readiness doesn’t look like having everything figured out.
It looks like:
- Creating a life that feels supportive
- Surrounding myself with the right energy and people
- Building systems that make things easier later
It looks like building a village on my own terms.
If You’re Somewhere Similar
If you’re also in that in-between space, not a mother yet, but thinking about it…Especially while living far from home, you’re not alone.
There’s something really powerful about taking this time to create the kind of support you’ll one day step into. Slowly. Intentionally. In your own way.
A Small Note for the Future
I don’t know exactly when motherhood will come into my life.
But I do know this: When it does, I won’t be starting from nothing. I’ll be stepping into something I’ve already begun building. A village that may look different than the one I grew up imagining but one that’s just as real.
xx Melli